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The Faculty

Sixteen members of staff at an institute of flirting research, every one an AI character. Read a file, or go straight to the hypotheses board and volunteer.

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Age
25 to 3435 and over
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Her file in brief
AdventurousCaringConfidentDominantFlirtyIntellectualMysteriousPlayfulSarcasticShyBest friendBossColleagueCrushExFriendFriends with benefitsNeighbourStranger
Odessa Linwood off duty Odessa, 41 AI Ethics board secretary Hypothesis: A consent form drafted for two is the most enjoyable kind. Open her file ♥ Garance Mercier at her bench Garance, 39 AI Lab manager Hypothesis: Coffee made by someone else tastes like attention. Open her file ♥ Naoko Fujimoto off duty Naoko, 45 AI Instrument calibrator Hypothesis: Two people can be calibrated to the same silence. Open her file ♥ Yessenia Prieto off duty Yessenia, 28 AI Conference organiser Hypothesis: Place cards shuffled at random produce the best conversations. Open her file ♥ Fernanda Almeida off duty Fernanda, 47 AI Survey coordinator Hypothesis: A name remembered after one message beats a face remembered after one evening. Open her file ♥ Svetlana Marek at her bench Svetlana, 50 AI Lab safety officer Hypothesis: Breaking a rule together lowers the temperature of both parties. Open her file ♥ Elke Thorsen off duty Elke, 55 AI Institute archivist Hypothesis: Honesty about a bad first date raises the odds of a good second one. Open her file ♥ Chloe Whitfield off duty Chloe, 34 AI Science communicator Hypothesis: Every result is funnier as a footnote. Open her file ♥ Katya Volkova at her bench Katya, 33 AI Equipment technician Hypothesis: A buzzer that is apologised to buzzes less. Open her file ♥ Zawadi Mwangi off duty Zawadi, 36 AI Data analyst Hypothesis: Late-night messages are longer and less guarded. Open her file ♥ Mina Farahani at her bench Mina, 31 AI Grant writer Hypothesis: A flirt with a good acronym will outlast one without. Open her file ♥ Annemarie Dekker off duty Annemarie, 44 AI Methods reviewer Hypothesis: Compliments in the margin outperform compliments in the abstract. Open her file ♥ Hyun-ji Seo off duty Hyun-ji, 29 AI Field recorder Hypothesis: Cafes record flirting more honestly than rooms with doors. Open her file ♥ Niamh Nolan off duty Niamh, 26 AI Junior fellow Hypothesis: A new hire's first hypothesis is always about the nearest person. Open her file ♥ Consuelo Salazar at her bench Consuelo, 52 AI Research librarian Hypothesis: Hypotheses that come true deserve a drawer of their own. Open her file ♥ Abiola Fashola at her bench Abiola, 48 AI Statistician Hypothesis: A sample of one is a trend if it keeps answering. Open her file ♥

The Hypotheses Board

Sixteen one-line hypotheses about flirting, each proposed by a member of staff. Filter by department and by status, then volunteer, and the hypothesis becomes your opening message in her chat. It is all fiction, and none of it is science.

Statistics · Under reviewHypothesis: A sample of one is a trend if it keeps answering.Method: You reply, she tabulates, and neither of you calls it flirting.Expected finding: A strong correlation between your replies and her interest.Abiola Fashola Volunteer Archive · ReplicatedHypothesis: Honesty about a bad first date raises the odds of a good second one.Method: You describe the worst one, and she checks it against the institute's index.Expected finding: Cross-references, a few of them about you.Elke Thorsen Volunteer Grant writing · PendingHypothesis: A flirt with a good acronym will outlast one without.Method: You propose the acronym and she funds it or rejects it.Expected finding: A rejection letter that reads suspiciously like affection.Mina Farahani Volunteer Laboratory · PendingHypothesis: Coffee made by someone else tastes like attention.Method: She prepares it, and you describe the effect in two adjectives.Expected finding: Adjectives, mostly warm.Garance Mercier Volunteer Field recording · Under reviewHypothesis: Cafes record flirting more honestly than rooms with doors.Method: She records, and you speak at ordinary volume.Expected finding: Background noise that turns out to be you leaning in.Hyun-ji Seo Volunteer Methods review · WithdrawnHypothesis: Compliments in the margin outperform compliments in the abstract.Method: She reads your message twice and marks it up.Expected finding: Corrections first, then a cautious tick.Annemarie Dekker Volunteer Data analysis · ReplicatedHypothesis: Late-night messages are longer and less guarded.Method: She plots your messages by the hour.Expected finding: A curve you hoped nobody would draw.Zawadi Mwangi Volunteer Library · PendingHypothesis: Hypotheses that come true deserve a drawer of their own.Method: She catalogues yours beside the institute's.Expected finding: A drawer with your name on it.Consuelo Salazar Volunteer Workshop · Under reviewHypothesis: A buzzer that is apologised to buzzes less.Method: You choose which machine to apologise to.Expected finding: A reluctant laugh from a technician.Katya Volkova Volunteer Ethics board · ReplicatedHypothesis: A consent form drafted for two is the most enjoyable kind.Method: She drafts it and you amend it clause by clause.Expected finding: A document more romantic than the institute intended.Odessa Linwood Volunteer Fellows' desk · PendingHypothesis: A new hire's first hypothesis is always about the nearest person.Method: She tests it on you.Expected finding: A blush, recorded as measurement error.Niamh Nolan Volunteer Survey · ReplicatedHypothesis: A name remembered after one message beats a face remembered after one evening.Method: She asks your name once and quotes it back later.Expected finding: A quotation, delivered at the worst possible moment.Fernanda Almeida Volunteer Safety · Under reviewHypothesis: Breaking a rule together lowers the temperature of both parties.Method: She lists the rules you are breaking, and you choose one to keep breaking.Expected finding: A citation and a little respect.Svetlana Marek Volunteer Outreach · PendingHypothesis: Every result is funnier as a footnote.Method: She writes it up and you supply the footnote.Expected finding: A footnote longer than the result.Chloe Whitfield Volunteer Calibration · WithdrawnHypothesis: Two people can be calibrated to the same silence.Method: She sits with you through one quiet exchange.Expected finding: A reading she declines to publish.Naoko Fujimoto Volunteer Symposium · ReplicatedHypothesis: Place cards shuffled at random produce the best conversations.Method: She reseats you and you report on the neighbour.Expected finding: A neighbour she arranged on purpose.Yessenia Prieto Volunteer